Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Feeling Like Reverend Wright

Ohhh, boy, did I walk in it. Shortly after my rather tongue-in-cheek post yesterday predicting Woody Myers would pull off the upset (according to my "sample size" of five friends), I heard from quite a few people about the multitude of ways I'm WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Some were angry, some intriguing, others comical, but the anonymous voice mail I got last night that was most worthy of repeating was the one that compared Andre Carson to Jiffy.

(Note to self: stop putting phone number on voter registration card).

Here it is, word-for-word (with my comments in parenthesis):

"You think Andre Carson is not going to dominate new voters (I'm sure the guy didn't mean this in an S&M way), then you are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! The new voters are driven by the presidential race, and they'll either be Obama voters who will vote for Carson because of Obama's endorsement, or they'll be undecided until election day because they will have paid the most attention to the presidential, not the congressional race. And when they get in that booth, they'll go with what they know, which is the Carson name, just like when you're looking at a whole bunch of peanut butter at the store, you pick Jiffy because that's what you know. There might be better tasting peanut butter, but you'd rather get the brand you know and live with that taste than try a new one that might be even better because you don't want to waste your money if your wrong. Andre Carson has the brand name that everybody knows. He's going to win by a LARGER margin than most people think, just like he and his grandmother always do. They never get his poll right, but it's wrong in the other direction, just like in the Ann Delaney race. Save your money. You'll be owing, sir."

All of a sudden my mouth got sticky. Got Carson?

Then I thought, "Am I being stalked? How's this guy know I use Jiffy??!?!"

I WILL say this, which I forgot to mention in my original post. I heard a rumor that Carolene Mays was stirring up the Muslim pot on Andre with Christian ministers. If this is true, it sure isn't working. I say this because yesterday I was at a funeral at an almost exclusively African-American church. As I walked in, I noticed a table holding stacked up pamphlets. Support Darfur? Help watch the kids in our children's ministry? No, no, my friends. They were campaign materials for Andre Carson, Barack Obama, and Greg Taylor.

(Begin debate here about whether to revoke churches' tax exempt status because so many are blatantly political).

As a quick aside, I owe an apology to Greg Taylor. Having patrolled the district, I now know only a few of his yard signs had someone hand-write his district number on them, so I'm thinking it might have been a too-excited precinct committeeperson who did this and not something directed by the campaign. On the yard sign front, Taylor's opponent, "Doe" Henderson has joined the "Black is the New Black" caravan with ALL-black yardsigns. Welcome to the fray!



varangianguard said...


But, not about anything except that it is Jif Peanut Butter, not Jiffy (which is a lube, not in an S&M way - I hope).

If people are picking Jiffy Peanut Butter at the polls (instead of Jif), then they certainly deserve whatever they eventually end up with. Just because it sounds alike, doesn't amke it taste alike.

And just for the record, there is no better tasting peanut butter besides Jif. Skippy and all the other wanna-bes don't even come close.

Wilson46201 said...

varangianguard said...

Ah, the Jiffy man surfaces.

Chris Worden said...


You sent me to my cabinet, and it IS Jif I use. I think I fused Jif and Skippy, and came up with Jiffy, which actually be a much better PB name. MAN, I have GOT to do better research for my readers!

Chris Worden said...

I meant to say "would be" a better name. And for FURTHER clarification, the mystery caller said Jiffy, and I didn't check "my sources" (i.e., my cabinet) to verify this.

varangianguard said...

Real peanut butter fans would have known immediately that the mysterious caller was trying to slip in a ringer.

Maybe his candidate's just a ringer too?

Wilson46201 said...

When the Chair of the Congressional Black Caucus, Congresswoman Carolyn Kilpatrick of Michigan, was asked why the CBC was backing André Carson, she replied "You go with who you know."

Yes, the "Carson" brand is well-known and trusted by Indianapolis voters. Myers is spending $1.5million to introduce a new label in the Indpls market but he hasn't been able to convince voters to ditch their familiar, tried-and-true "Carson for Congress" ...

Chris Worden said...


"Coke" was a known brand, but when "the suits" changed it and tried to repackage it still as Coke (adding the adjective "new"), everybody realized it tasted lousy.

To the Congressman's credit, though (and with all respect given to the late, AND great Congresswoman), Andre is seemingly working harder right now than his grandmother ever did. He seems determined to show he's the real deal, and voters may reward him for that determination. In short, his efforts may be more than adequate to prop up "the brand," in their minds, and the words of Congresswoman Kilpatrick may end up sounding like 7th District prophecy.

But my only lingering concern is when I compare Obama's speech yesterday (or any day, for that matter) with Andre's public remarks or those he gives on the House floor. You'll see one man who is clearly thoughtful and well-versed in whatever subject he addresses (Obama) and one who is absolutely scripted who stumbles the second he moves off the script. And I still can't tell if he's just being choked by the DCCC handlers or if he's just not ready.

Listen, I understand oratory is not how bills get passed. Most of the time nobody is listening in the House chamber. BUT, rightly or wrongly, we assess our leaders on how they articulate their positions because it gives insight into their thought process. Congressman Carson, I thought, performed nicely at the IUPUI debate when asked questions. That gives me hope relating to his ability to think on his feet. But when he did his opening statement (the "handled" part), it was almost incoherent. Here it is in its entirety:

"When this effort began, we talked about bold and courageous leadership. Congresswoman Julia Carson was a bold leader. She was the kind of leader who was unafraid to speak truth to power. When the war effort began, she was criticized. She stood up against the war and said the war is wrong.

When I first got to Congress, the very first day, I co-sponsored legislation that will relieve the property tax burden from homeowners. Secondly, I had my first amendment pass unanimously in the house that will connect American universities and African universities together to work on this HIV-Aids epidemic.

We’re talking bold leadership. We’ve met with the former employees of ATA. Bold leadership. We want answers. We sent a letter to the President of the United States demanding that he stop feeling the strategic petroleum reserve. We want answers. You need bold leadership? We offer bold leadership.

This is a bunch of random thoughts with seemingly no connection to each other or explanation of how any of them relate to our problems. You met with employees from ATA and now you want answers? To what questions? How they're going to spend their summer?!? Honestly, it's moments like this (which fortunately probably only about 142 people saw) that keep Woody Myers within striking distance. If the Congressman wins this deal, I hope he'll entertain some help that both elevates his policy discourse but also stays within the confines of his natural speaking style.

But win, lose, or draw...for a political blogger, there's no better time than right now. Aahhhhhhhh!

Anonymous said...

I'll go with Wilson's suggestion that you go with the "one you know".
If Kilpatrick's son and soon-to-be ex Mayor of Detroit Kwame is an example then by all mean go with Mr.Carson.
Are they making peanut butter in Pakistan now?

Wilson46201 said...

Pakistan? What's that supposed to mean? Are you next going to say "Barack HUSSEIN Obama"? The desperate GOP is certainly trotting out religious bigotry and fear this election, arent they now?

Back to serious politics: our Democratic Congressman André Carson reported today to his constituents:

Anonymous said...

As an active white Democrat, I think you would be surprised at the support that Andre has with white voters. Julia had wonderful service to her voters and they remember that........Andre will do the same.

Anonymous said...

Wilson, I wouldn't be trotting Madame Kilpatrick as an example. Her son she placed in office is a total disgrace.
Some chips off the old block turn out that way.
BTW, enough of the race card OK?
Some candidates like Dr. Meyers haven't sold their souls for a handful of silver. Silver that has came from those supporting the dictator in Pakistan not to meantion those with ties to Hammas.
It's not about race or religion it's about personal integrity, a quality sorely lacking in your candidates resume.
How much is your soul for sale for Wilson?

artfuggins said...

but Dr. Myers did sell his soul to Wellpoint and Haliburton.......think of all the working people who went bankrupt or had their home foreclosed because Myers denied their medical claims.......the Atty General of California says it was over 6000. Why did 70,000 doctors sue Wellpoint.