Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tripp....and fall!

Sarah Palin has a grandson whose name is "Tripp."

What explanation can we give for this horrendous name?

Perhaps somebody (grandma, I'm thinking) must think it will be cute to say, "My grandson sure is a Tripp!" Or, is it (we can only pray) some significant family name that, sadly, got made into a first name in another example of family/parental narcissism trumping the fact this kid will get mocked daily in school?

But wait! It's actually worse because the full name (this is NOT a joke) is:

"Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston"

Great. He's also named after an aluminum bat.

Do you know how people (mostly white in racial composition) make fun of African-American mothers for giving their kids names like Lamonjelo and Oranjelo (phonetically, but spelled "Lemonjello" and "Orangejello" respectively, as detailed in Freakonomics), or for naming them after liquors, cars models, or Greek gods?

Well, this is the white trash equivalent. Bad baby naming skills are being handed down from generation to generation. The Palin clan has concocted a completely ridiculous name that will guarantee this kid a lifetime of torment, and they make it worse by THEN trying to make it sound aristocratic by giving him four names.

If government could ever serve a useful function, it would be regulating baby names. If your proposed name was approved by the "Naming committee," it would then be referred to the "name spelling" subcommittee. Here's a dramatization:

Naming committee chair: "It was a VERY close vote, but we will let you name your daughter Charisma."

Spelling committee chair: "Hold on....how were you going to spell it?"

Parent: "K...A...R...I...Z....

Spelling committee chair: "I'm sorry, no. I have to refer you back to the naming committee where you'll start over. And may God have mercy on your soul!"

Oh, by the way, no word on when this alleged Bristol wedding will actually happen. We just have a "sometimes in 2009." Don't hold your breath. Also, Bristol Palin's soon-to-be mother-in-law just got arrested for selling Oxycontin.

While I understand there is a tradition of having people in the White House with embarrassing relatives (see Billy Carter, Nancy Reagan, Roger Clinton/Hugh Rodham Clinton, and Neil Bush/all of Jeb Bush's kids)....I can't believe so many of you wanted THIS as the Second Family?!?

When will you all admit you were horribly, HORRIBLY mistaken about Palin? And, ironically, the conservatorati are blaming MCCAIN for this loss! Are you kidding me?!?! The man had to carry an albatross around his neck every minute post-convention!

American is obsessed with looks, and Palin has them. I get that. But at some point, don't we all have to agree that the moniker "hottie" can only be uttered about Palin after the words "intellectually vacuous"?