Thursday, September 11, 2008

Libertarians Have Sticking Power! Is Andy Horning in on Another Election?!?

In my 7th District pre-special election commentary, I offered the following thought:

"Libertarians might be thought of as a fringe party, but they know a good sound bite. I think Libertarian wit, along with knowing the formula for making a space-age super-adhesive, are the keys to the vitality of the Libertarian Party in Indianapolis. This is NO joke. Some aluminum lamp polls downtown still have bumper stickers for Libertarian Kurt St. Angelo from the 10th district race against Julia Carson in 1996."

I got additional evidence for my thesis today in the form of an "Andrew Horning for Congress" bumper sticker. Some guy who supported Horning when he ran for Congress in 2004 STILL cannot get that sticker off his car! Bwwwahh ha haaaa! (Libertarians, who receive the "secret formula after membership induction, all laugh in unison!)

Seeing the bumper sticker reminded me that this year's gubernatorial race is, indeed, a three-way contest, and that Mr. Horning is vying for the state's top executive office with Republican Mitch Danielsalaam and JLT.

I watched Mr. Horning in his gubernatorial debate in 2000, and he was, by far, the most engaging personality on the stage, and he was the only candidate with REAL ideas. But as P.J. O'Rourke noted in his book Parliament of Whores, "In the American political system, you're only allowed to have real ideas if it's absolutely guaranteed that you can't win an election."

We make sure Libertarians can't win in this country by employing (a) a lot of silly ballot access laws and (b) the concept of accountability, which Libertarians can never harness by virtue of not actually ever getting elected to anything. It's a vicious Catch-22, I know, which is why I think quality candidates like Horning should show us what Libertarians can do in lesser offices they want to abolish before they aspire to higher offices they want to abolish.

Seriously, I fully expect Mr. Horning to add pizzazz to this race, just as he does with his unconventional website. http://www.horningforgovernor.com/ It's always an entertaining read.

If I offered my political advice to Andy Horning, though, the first thing I would say is to obtain some Just for Men before Keith Hernandez and Willis Reed show up at one of your events to yell at you:

"Your stash is trash! Your beard is weird!"

I did a double-take on Horning's photo because I could have sworn somebody Photoshop'd some gray speckles into his beard to cover his boyish face and give the appearance of a seasoned political veteran. It may be true that the government is best which governs least, but a laissez-faire approach to one's facial hair? That's living the Libertarian creed to excess.


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1 comment:

wedeclare said...

While I disagree with most of what you've said here, I feel compelled to admit that you said it well.