Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Make Amos Brown Happy!

Have you noticed that seasoned political campaigns make all their ad photos look like Benetton commercials?

Seasoned campaigns do this for two reasons: (1) to give the impression that their candidates will represent all segments of our increasingly pluralistic society; and (2) to keep Amos Brown from yelling at them.

But what if you're a newbie and can't pay national consultants to craft photos?!? Never fear. Having studied over 1,000 campaign photos since 1994, I am now able to offer prospective candidates "the formula" to use to achieve maximum "diversity appreciation." It is:

(1) African-American man (young Buppie in glasses); (1) Latino man (middle-aged in plaid shirt); (1) senior-aged white man (NOT angry, but visibly concerned about social security); (1) college-aged Asian female; (1) 20-something female of uncertain Middle Eastern descent (preferrably Indian, NO head covering); (1) "suggestably" metro 30+ male of mixed and indecipherable ethnicity; (1) man in wheelchair of same race as candidate BUT younger than the candidate; and (1) Aleut (Alaska only).*

(* - If you have a district that is 30+ % African-American, add older African-American woman in business suit with natural hair. For guide, see Alice Walker).

Follow this formula, and you're on your way to appearing inclusive. An even better idea, though, is having a campaign that actually IS inclusive.


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