Friendly Advice for Marvin Scott

Don't.

That's my advice. Just say no. You announced you are running as a Republican candidate for U.S. Congress against Democrat Andre Carson. My only question is why? Are you a glutton for punishment? Do you have that much free time to spend on self-aggrandizing, pointless pursuits?

Are you not aware of the people in my own party who had reservations about an extremely gifted political figure, Joe Hogsett, because he had run for office a few times and been defeated? Respectfully, you're not as politically gifted as Hogsett, and at least he was elected Secretary of State in 1990. You lost to Andy Jacobs, then to Julia Carson, and then to Evan Bayh.

You can claim only persistence, which I suppose is cool in a kind of rogue Pat Paulsen/Ron Paul/Ralph Nader/Bobby Hidalgo Kern kind of way. But there is no scenario under which you can be elected. The district is too Democrat, the Congressman is working too hard, and if anybody in the national party felt you were anywhere near striking distance, they would open a floodgate of funds to protect an incumbent seat.

Obviously, you believe you have the skills to be worthy of being one of the 535 decision makers for this country. Frankly, I do not know you well enough to say whether this is true or not.

But if so, take that energy, skill, time, and money and invest it in the Indianapolis non-profit community. Imagine how empowering you could be as a mentor with Big Brothers. Imagine what you could do as a volunteer for Child Advocates, Inc. Imagine the money you could amass if, instead of spending time trying to get people to set their money on fire (which is about the same thing as donating to your campaign), you told them to donate to United Way, which is struggling this year.

I thought Republicans' believed in the market because it would compel people to move to the highest valued use for their skills. Yet, while you have unlimited choices for trying to make Indianapolis better in a tangible and meaningful way that would result in gratitude from most of your neighbors, you choose the one that will never bear fruit while simultaneously making you look politically delusional.

Time to rethink this thing, professor. Class dismissed.

Friendly Advice for Marvin Scott

Libertarians Have Sticking Power! Is Andy Horning in on Another Election?!?

In my 7th District pre-special election commentary, I offered the following thought:

"Libertarians might be thought of as a fringe party, but they know a good sound bite. I think Libertarian wit, along with knowing the formula for making a space-age super-adhesive, are the keys to the vitality of the Libertarian Party in Indianapolis. This is NO joke. Some aluminum lamp polls downtown still have bumper stickers for Libertarian Kurt St. Angelo from the 10th district race against Julia Carson in 1996."

I got additional evidence for my thesis today in the form of an "Andrew Horning for Congress" bumper sticker. Some guy who supported Horning when he ran for Congress in 2004 STILL cannot get that sticker off his car! Bwwwahh ha haaaa! (Libertarians, who receive the "secret formula after membership induction, all laugh in unison!)

Seeing the bumper sticker reminded me that this year's gubernatorial race is, indeed, a three-way contest, and that Mr. Horning is vying for the state's top executive office with Republican Mitch Danielsalaam and JLT.

I watched Mr. Horning in his gubernatorial debate in 2000, and he was, by far, the most engaging personality on the stage, and he was the only candidate with REAL ideas. But as P.J. O'Rourke noted in his book Parliament of Whores, "In the American political system, you're only allowed to have real ideas if it's absolutely guaranteed that you can't win an election."

We make sure Libertarians can't win in this country by employing (a) a lot of silly ballot access laws and (b) the concept of accountability, which Libertarians can never harness by virtue of not actually ever getting elected to anything. It's a vicious Catch-22, I know, which is why I think quality candidates like Horning should show us what Libertarians can do in lesser offices they want to abolish before they aspire to higher offices they want to abolish.

Seriously, I fully expect Mr. Horning to add pizzazz to this race, just as he does with his unconventional website. http://www.horningforgovernor.com/ It's always an entertaining read.

If I offered my political advice to Andy Horning, though, the first thing I would say is to obtain some Just for Men before Keith Hernandez and Willis Reed show up at one of your events to yell at you:

"Your stash is trash! Your beard is weird!"

I did a double-take on Horning's photo because I could have sworn somebody Photoshop'd some gray speckles into his beard to cover his boyish face and give the appearance of a seasoned political veteran. It may be true that the government is best which governs least, but a laissez-faire approach to one's facial hair? That's living the Libertarian creed to excess.

Libertarians Have Sticking Power! Is Andy Horning in on Another Election?!?

Pawns Get Played

People warn that you never talk about the family of a friend. It's dangerous terrain.

Yeah, yeah. When have I ever listened before?

Last week Tyrion at the Bilerico Project reported that Mitch Daniels is filming a TV ad in which Sam Carson, the son of Julia Carson, endorses Daniels in front of Julia's politically historic house on North Park Avenue.

(This is not the only head-scratching move made by a Carson of late. You may all recall that Julia's grandson, Sam Jr., threw his name in to run against Marion County Democratic Party Chairman, Ed Treacy, only to withdraw days later).

I'm reluctant to attack party "mavericks," since "independent" instincts can help keep a party "clean." But this isn't "maverick" for the better interest of the party. This is a foolishly naïve gentleman embracing the opposing team thinking he'll get something, and he's getting played in the process.

Governor Danielsalaam knows that getting ANY Carson to endorse him, in particular, in front of that house, is political kiting. Governor Danielsalaam wants viewers to believe that Sam Carson is speaking "for the family."

You now how I know this? Because Sam Carson, void of the name "Carson," is nobody politically. A Sam Carson ad would be the equivalent of Mitch Daniels filming an endorsement from his gardener, accountant, or bartender. They might be salt-of-the-worth people, but nobody will vote based on those endorsements. This means Daniels wouldn't put Carson, or the house, in a commercial unless it bears a strong "meta-message."

Okay, pay attention, class. A political ad has "the message" and the "meta-message." The message is what you read on the screen or what the person says. But the "meta-message" is the larger symbolic content in the ad. A guy in a wheelchair might say, "I support Mitch Daniels because he does what he says he'll do." That's the message. But the symbolic meta-message is identity politics driven, and it says, "Mitch Daniels treats people like me well because he cared enough to put me in an ad, and he'll do the same for you."

Political consultants play the meta-message game with gender, race, age, religion, region (city vs. rural), socioeconomic status (factory workers versus guys in suits) and sexual orientation as well, which is why many political ads look like commercials for the United Colors of Benetton.

The coup part of such a Carson for Mitch ad, if it airs, is that a large group of people who know Julia's house and see it as a staging point for progressive change might think Daniels must have been okay in Julia's mind. But this idea stands false. In no universe would Julia Carson endorse Mitch Daniels.

As a student of political tactics, I tip my hat to Governor Danielsalaam for this major coup. But I also don't mind telling him that he needs to take a shower once this airs because he just went gutter.

Pawns Get Played

McCain Not "Standing Up" for His Viagra Vote?

Holy cow! Watch this.

John McCain advisor and former Hewlitt-Packard CEO, Carli Fiorino, said it was unfair that some insurance companies would cover Viagra but not birth control for women. McCain, who voted against a bill to require companies to offer both (which seems like a very common sense gender equality issue), was asked about this on his Straight Talk bus.

After looking at this tape, I think he needs to rename it the "Bumbling Stumbling Wheel that Goes Round and Round."

Watching this tape is painful, but it reminds me of my favorite stories about Julia Carson involving a very similar issue.

At a debate at the Press Club against Republican Gary Hofmeister, Mary-Beth Schneider asked Julia Carson about whether she thought it was acceptable for Medicare to cover Viagra if it didn't cover birth control. Congresswoman Carson's answer was as follows:

"I don't know anything about that Viagra. You'd have to ask Mr. Hofmeister that question."

Hofmeister was visibly flushed as the crowd roared.

At the same debate, I promise it sounded like each time the Congresswoman said Hofmeister's name it morphed closer and closer to "house master," which would have served as a not-so-subtle reminder of the racial dynamic in that campaign.

(The progression, which I recall like it was yesterday, was "Hofmeister," "Haufmeister," "Hausmeister," "Hausmister," "Hausmaster," "Housemaster").

McCain Not "Standing Up" for His Viagra Vote?