Make Amos Brown Happy!

Have you noticed that seasoned political campaigns make all their ad photos look like Benetton commercials?

Seasoned campaigns do this for two reasons: (1) to give the impression that their candidates will represent all segments of our increasingly pluralistic society; and (2) to keep Amos Brown from yelling at them.

But what if you're a newbie and can't pay national consultants to craft photos?!? Never fear. Having studied over 1,000 campaign photos since 1994, I am now able to offer prospective candidates "the formula" to use to achieve maximum "diversity appreciation." It is:

(1) African-American man (young Buppie in glasses); (1) Latino man (middle-aged in plaid shirt); (1) senior-aged white man (NOT angry, but visibly concerned about social security); (1) college-aged Asian female; (1) 20-something female of uncertain Middle Eastern descent (preferrably Indian, NO head covering); (1) "suggestably" metro 30+ male of mixed and indecipherable ethnicity; (1) man in wheelchair of same race as candidate BUT younger than the candidate; and (1) Aleut (Alaska only).*

(* - If you have a district that is 30+ % African-American, add older African-American woman in business suit with natural hair. For guide, see Alice Walker).

Follow this formula, and you're on your way to appearing inclusive. An even better idea, though, is having a campaign that actually IS inclusive.

Make Amos Brown Happy!

More Jeers than Cheers for Woody

Two days ago, I praised Woody Myers' ad campaign for multiple references to his highly-trusted vocation - physician. They're back at it!

If you go to Dr. Myers' website, or look closely at his yard signs now populating the city, you will notice a stethoscope in the logo. That's as "un-subtle" as it gets, and it's smart marketing in theory. Unfortunately, in an effort to "cutesy up" the dot next to the word "Dr," somebody made the stethoscope "tube" in the logo "penetrate" the hole in the "e" in "Myers." Study that for a second.

http://www.myers2008.org/

The men reading this know the LAST thing any man over thirty-five wants to be reminded of is a certain medical procedure that requires something to be inserted somewhere he's not accustomed to ingressing traffic. (But, hey, the blog title is "painfully" objective, so I'll force myself to probe further on the Myers' candidacy).

I have a confession. I bought all the "conventional wisdom" on Dr. Myers, which among democratic precinct committeepersons tended to be, "Woody who?" The short version is that Dr. Myers was a rising star, disappeared to make money in California, and rolled back around thinking he could buy this because he'd given so many dollars to to so many Democrats. His list of political friends is, indeed, long. http://query.nictusa.com/cgi-bin/qind/.

I decided to make my mind go to a "blank slate" and review what Dr. Myers was all about. So I went to his website.

The "issues" section of Woody Myers website has four issues: our economy, our healthcare, our schools, and ending the war in Iraq.

I click on "Our Economy."

This is what it says, in FULL. I am NOT making this up.

"As a major Midwestern commercial hub, Indianapolis gets hit hard when our economy struggles. We need a representative in Washington who has the experience to make things happen."

Okay, I say to myself, he's "Dr." Myers, not "PhD from the Kelley School" Myers. I'm sure the economy section is light because he's had to reserve all the space available on his website to record the sum total of his decades of expertise in health care and administration and distill it into some manageable "diagnosis" for what "ills" our healthcare system while providing some "Hoosier homegrown remedies." THIS, I tell myself, will be his opus.

Click.

"Mend our health care system - As one of our nation's top experts on the health care industry, Dr. Myers would allow Indiana families to play a central role in the debate on how to fix health care and reduce prescription drug costs."

THAT'S IT?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me?!? The guy is a DOCTOR, and that's as in-depth as it gets? I understand that most candidates (mistakenly) believe nobody reads websites, so maybe it's not the main focus of the campaign. But I'm not expecting regression-model analysis like a Brookings Institute study. I would just like SOMETHING. When I look at the website, I can't shake the belief that Dr. Myers has given very little thought to how he would govern, and great thought on how he will run.

In fairness to Dr. Myers, I went to Andre Carson's website. It's somewhat better, but with more typos. Don't these folks have staff? We apparently need "tax releif" for working families. Also, Andre switches to either a caveman dialect or a non-parallel sentence when he says: "Finally, I bring leadership on the issue, build on what's already working at the state level, and make sure everyone has health care."

Are all websites this bad?

I bounce to Carolene Mays' website. http://www.carolenemaysforcongress.com/
Her statement on healthcare is this:

"Simply put, the healthcare system in the United States is broken leaving forty-seven million uninsured. Many Hoosiers are struggling to pay for basic services as healthcare has become unaffordable and inaccessible to many. In addition, the inability to pay medical bills continues to be the leading cause of personal bankruptcies and the rising costs of medications leave many skipping medication doses just to get by. Health directly impacts quality of life- whether it is through Medicaid, Medicare, CHIP, private insurance, or private payer, every citizen deserves care. In a nation as rich and technologically advanced as the Unites States, it is one of Carolene's top priorities to ensure that every American has access to quality health care."

It concerns me that a newspaper publisher lets such free use of punctuation pass on her own website. If you can't find the mistakes, take remedial English, folks. No wonder our kids don't do well in school. Even our professionals do not get it correctly. Okay, here's ONE clue: ,
Repeat as needed.

Finally, I go to David O's website, http://www.orentlicherforcongress.com/

The website has three rotating photos, one of which features an irked-looking toddler who affirms what some of David O's law school students have told me: "If I hadn't paid to be here (or gotten a sucker), I'd be out the door." This is the tragedy for candidates of "substance." People never elect wonky types unless they can ALSO "move" crowds. A plan of action without the ability to mobilize is meaningless because it will never get enacted. Without the "energy," all that's left is a steaming pile of substance.

And David O. has that, hands down. Read David O's website, and tell me it isn't more "substantive" than the other three combined. I'm sorry, but you just can't and keep a straight face. It might also be more wrong for the 7th District than all three combined BECAUSE it's more substantive. But nobody can say David O. didn't care enough to actually study some core issues while providing insight into his thought process and a road map of his goals.

Contrast that with Woody's statement that "We need a representative in Washington who has the experience to make things happen." Like what? He doesn't say! Vote for Woody, and there'll be bottled water for everybody living along Fall Creek, chuckholes filled with gold in your neighborhood, and a personal butler to mow your lawn once a week!

I promise on all things I hold dear that I wanted to keep an open mind so that I could compliment the campaign Dr. Myers ran, even if I did not vote for him. This is only because of a courtesy that was made by the Myers campaign to communicate with me directly. But I see nothing yet to suggest Woody Myers is even as ready as the man he accuses of being unready.

Actually, that's not true. When I did a search for "Carolene Mays," the sponsored link that popped up on the right side of my screen was for "Woody Myers for Congress. Nice! Put yourself where people who want to know more about the candidates you're running against are, and you've got a great chance they'll go to YOUR website as well, which is a great thing...

Unless your website only says you "can make things happen."

Anything less from the good doctor than an intensified campaign regiment from now until election day will likely result in the side effect of (ED) -- electoral defeat.

More Jeers than Cheers for Woody

Who Can Save IPS?

So I'm watching Headline News this morning, and I hear that "urban school districts" such as Detroit and Indianapolis lead the nation in dropout rates. This isn't exactly the same kind of press as landing a Superbowl, is it?

So here's what I'm thinking. If having "split" authority is bad for accountability (say for example having one guy run the sheriff's department and another guy running the city police force) how can we ever expect change with a board at IPS? Most people can't even tell you who the superintendent for IPS is, let alone the actual board members. The problem is that Superintendents don't have elections. They are selected by a board selected by voters, most of whom have no clue what their board members actually vote for. Mayors have elections though.

Mayor Ballard, you want to save Indianapolis? Use your political capital and take control of IPS. Put it under YOUR office, just like you did with public safety. Nothing is more critical right now for the future of Indianapolis than fixing IPS. I don't think I'm speculating to suggest that there is a connection between public safety and a bunch of high school dropouts on the street. When Democrats oppose you reflexively, just remind them that you'll only be a one-term mayor since there's no way you'll be able to cut 10% out of the city budget, so a Democrat will be running IPS four years from now. That'll sell them!

Then let the mayors fall or fly as their IPS results dictate. What's that, Mayor Ballard? You don't want to? Yeah, I thought that was just a power grab when you took the sheriff's job. You don't really care about "the buck stopping here," do you?

Who Can Save IPS?