The Inaugural Inaugural Write-Up!

Because of a lengthy trial yesterday, I was unable to watch the Obama inauguration until last evening (Thank you, DVR!). I have not seen, heard, nor read a single thing about the event yet because I wanted to give my “gut” impressions. Here they are:

- DAMN! Barack Obama flubbed his oath. This will give Republicans fodder for the next four years. Also, some Freeman wackos plus Advance Indiana will probably say Obama is not president because he hasn’t REALLY taken the oath of office. President Obama looked at Chief Justice Roberts like, “Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?” I don’t blame him. Isn’t every significant oath given in rhythmic phrases of NO MORE than five words? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? How are you going to hit a guy with more than that when you know he has to be nervous about becoming the most powerful man in the world? I have a sneaking feeling Justice Roberts is thinking today, “Ha ha! Got him!”

- When George Bush walked out, he looked as comfortable as a black man at a clan rally. His eyes kept darting back and forth like he was expecting someone to throw shoes at him or something. He might be suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder from that well-heeled attack. Lord knows it’s the closest thing to combat he’s ever faced.

- Somebody needs to tell Michelle Obama not to wear that color of lip stick or lip gloss. It looked like her bottom lip was radioactive white during certain camera shots. (Oh, by the way, I’m still waiting for that top secret video where Michelle Obama says “whitey” that was much talked about on the internet. I guess Republicans are going to hold it until Obama runs for re-election?!?)

- People who can get past the fact the invocation was delivered by the “controversial” and “conservative” pastor Rick Warren will say he gave a phenomenal prayer. Of course, for some liberal activists, that’s almost like saying, “Hitler gave some great speeches if you can get past the whole holocaust thing.”

- Obama’s faith was on display throughout his speech. It was very scripture-based, which will make some people nervous. But he did something I hadn’t heard before from a U.S. president. He publicly acknowledged our nation also has “non-believers.” Conservative critics will attack him for it.

- I thought Obama’s speech was very moving, but not everyone agreed. I counted no fewer than eight people whose eyes were shut or whose heads were bobbing during the speech, and most of them were on the dais. Having people nodding off after an early morning that follows late-night festivities is nothing new, but this is where you can tell BET is not used to covering political events. Come on, BET! You NEVER show the sleeping people! Take a lesson from CNN. If CNN had shown all the people asleep at a McCain afternoon rally (say two hours after the MCL lunch rush), we would have seen entire rows in snoozeville. Even Michael Dukakis and the late, great Paul Tsongas never suffered the indignity of a public airing of people asleep during their events, but you KNOW there had to be thousands of potential targets from which to choose.

- I watched the movie Gladiator the other night, and the line that stuck with me is when Hinsou tells Crowe, “You have a great name. You must kill it before it kills you.” That’s what Obama is probably thinking. If he embraces his middle name of “Hussein,” he gives license to the conservatorati, like Greg Garrison, to say it with derisive emphasis (Barack HUUUUSEEEIIIIN Obama). But I cringed when I heard them announce “Barack H. Obama” as the President-Elect entered. Aside from mental comparisons to Hubert H. Humphrey, it was an obvious dodge of his own name, which everybody was going to hear anyway during the swearing in.

- Hillary Clinton seemed to have a forced smile to me during the entire proceeding. You know, the one where the mouth is turn up waayyy too high to be natural, so it suggests the person is really exerting effort? Inside her mind: “I should be taking that oath, damn it!” Bill Clinton kind of looked mad. Inside his mind: well, this one is actually anybody’s guess, but I’m going with, “Look at the diversity of hotties up in here.”

- It was, indeed, a broad swath of Americans, young and old, black, white, Asian, Arabic, and a whole lot of census-box-confounding “others.”

- While we all know Reverend Lowry was being ironical and tongue-in-cheek comedic at the end of his benediction when he said he hopes American can get to a place where “black doesn’t have to get back, yellow can be mellow, the redman can get ahead, man, and white can do right,” I promise there will be people who criticize that remark for (a) calling native Americans “red,” (b) calling Asians “yellow” (though when he said it, BET cameras caught some Asians who were laughing and applauding, and (c) for suggesting the white man needs to do more things right. I promise you Lowry will be painted by the same “white hater” brush that the conservatorati used on Reverend Wright.

- John Williams is a great composer (Close Encounters, Star Wars, Jaws, Indiana Jones, Apollo 13, Jurassic Park, Saving Private Ryan, and Schindler’s List, to name his signature works), but I wasn’t impressed with his original piece, which is saying something given that he had the world’s best violinist and cellist in the quartet. If every American got the joy out of their job that Yo Yo Ma gets out of playing his cello, we’d be absolutely destroying the industrialized world in productivity.

The Inaugural Inaugural Write-Up!